Behind the Scenes Tag

Hi guys,

I was tagged to do this post by Luscious Lane, so I hope you enjoy having a read of my answers! For anyone reading this, I TAG YOU!

Why and when did you start blogging?

I first started blogging about a year ago. I wanted to start blogging because I thought it would be a good way to express myself. I wanted to say that I had a hobby and that I was actually good at something! I had been reading blogs for a while before creating mine, to get some ideas about what I could talk about and what other people found interesting. Then I just thought, WHY NOT? and did my first post and I haven't looked back since.

What gives you inspiration for blog posts?

I don't really look for inspiration, I will just blog about things I like and enjoy. I like to blog about a mixture of everything, from product reviews to serious topics such as my posts about depression and rape culture, which gives me a lot of options and variety. I still love to read other blogs to get ideas and see what is a popular talking point, so I would say I get some inspiration from other bloggers.

What advise would you give to people starting out?

Be active on social media sites. I have gained most of my views and followers from sharing my blog on Twitter. It is a great way to network with other bloggers and you can make some great friends out of it too.

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

Being able to express myself and be able to talk about things that genuinely interest me. I also love the blogging community and the fact that everyone is so supportive of each other. 

What do your friends and family think about you being a blogger?

Not everyone knows that I have my own blog! My boyfriend though has been really supportive and is really proud of me for sticking with it. He knows that I struggle with my confidence and self esteem and writing my blog has really helped me fight these issues. I get so excited when I get new followers and he always seems interested, even when he couldn't care less! Family are supportive of everything I do, so as long as I am doing something I enjoy, they are more than happy.

Is blogging how you pictured it to be? 

It is a lot harder than I thought it would be, especially in terms of getting people to take notice and get followers. I think in some ways, this makes it even better when you do get views and followers though, because you have really worked hard to get noticed! I love blogging though, and the hard work does pay off.

Are there any bloggers that you feel deserve more readers/ have you made any friends through blogging?

There are so many bloggers that deserve more attention, I couldn't possibly list all of them! A few of my favourites at the moment though, are FatBeauty, Zoe's Secret Style, Leah Talks and Twinkle's Beauty Blog. These all give so much detail in their posts and I can tell they are all really passionate about their blogging. I haven't made any friends as such through blogging, but it is making me more confident in talking to new people, which is great!

What inspired your blog name?

I don't really know if I'm honest! It kinda popped into my head one day. I guess I like it because I like simplicity and I am extremely curious, especially when it comes to trying new products or having new experiences. I think my blog is simple, in its design and also in its content. I like to give a lot of information but hopefully I give it in a way that is simple and easy to understand!

October Favourites

I can't believe November is here already!
It does mean however, that I can share with you some things I have been LOVING this October.

First up is the Imperial Leather Citrus Burst Shower Gel. I love my shower gels and every time I go shopping I will always pick up a new one! This is my current favourite. The scent is gorgeous. It is so refreshing and really picks me up in the shower. I will definitely be using this for the rest of the year. Second is the Nivea Daily Essentials Extra Gentle Eye Makeup Remover. This stuff is so lovely. It has a really clean, scent, almost like baby powder and it gets your makeup off so easily. I was skeptical about this, as the first time I used this I almost blinded myself. I shouldn't have been so stupid and used so much of the stuff though. So that's my own silly fault! Next is the Schwarzkopf Essence Ultime Omega Repair BB Beauty Balm. This hair treatment is amazing. I have been using it for a couple of months now and the difference it has made to my hair is unbelievable. My hair is extremely frazzled and dry and I do struggle to find products that work, but this makes my hair so manageable and much smoother. This will definitely be used well into winter, as the cold always makes my hair go CRAZY. This is well worth a try especially as it is only £2.74 at Boots. Next up is the Glade Cosy Apple and Cinnamon Air and Fabric Spray. This is a must have if you love Christmas! The spiced scent is gorgeous and the house smells amazing now. I have only owned this for a week, but I will be using this well into the winter.
My must have foundation is the Seventeen Stay Time foundation, which I did a review of the other day (find it here). This is perfect for those with oily skin and stays in place all day! Next is the Maybelline Cover Stick. I have loved this cover stick throughout October. It has such a creamy consistency and is really easy to apply. It covers blemishes and dark circles and makes your skin look amazing. The final makeup item I have been loving is the Bourjois Paris Little Round Pot Intense Eyeshadow (03). I have owned this for some time now, and I did a previous review in my 2014 Makeup Favourites. I have only recently started wearing it again though, after using some of my other eye shadows a bit more. This colour is absolutely gorgeous, and the sparkle looks great in the winter months. 

Finally, my favourite perfume of October (probably of the year) is Beyonce Heat. I absolutely love this perfume. With a combination of almond macaroon, honeysuckle nectar, creme de musk and red vanilla orchid, this perfume screams autumn. I fell good when I wear it and my boyfriend has commented on how nice I smell multiple times whilst wearing this, which is nice!
What are your October favourites? Do you agree with any of my choices?

MUA Luxe Voluminous Felt Eyeliner

Hello guys!
Today I shall be reviewing the MUA Luxe Voluminous Felt Eyeliner. 
I picked this up from Superdrug for a reasonable £3, after searching the makeup aisles for what felt like hours. I am very picky with eyeliners and usually I'm not too keen on the felt tip kind, but this one stood out to me (I think because of the price if I'm honest!).

The eyeliner works well for me, as I prefer a subtle eyeliner rather than anything too bold, unless I'm going on a night out. I find it really easy to get the right look that I'm going for and its easy to add a little more if needed. I find that some eyeliners come out far too thick and make me look like I've reverted back to my goth days, or they are far too thin and really hard to apply. 
Another positive is that this eyeliner doesn't flake or clump. I have tried many eyeliners and halfway through the day, there will be chunks of it all over your face. This one though, comes out smoothly, with a nice matte finish and lasts all day. The only problem I have is that it does take forever to get off. I was rubbing at my eyes for about 10 minutes trying to get the stuff off my face!
I would definitely give this product 9/10 and I would recommend it to everyone :)

Tried and Tasted: Halloween Sweets

Hello everyone,

Myself and my boyfriend (also know as CoopyCatCreations) have made a video!

Basically it is just us, eating terrible Halloween sweets and making terrible jokes. I hope you guys check it out. I would really appreciate some sharing and stuff :)

Living with Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder

Hi everyone,

I have done a similar post to this previously, but I wanted to go a bit more in depth and let you get to know the real me.

I have depression and BPD, usually know as Borderline Personality Disorder. Depression is defined by Depression UK as:

a mood disorder characterised by low mood and a wide range of other possible symptoms, which will vary from person to person. An illness that can develop quickly or gradually, and be brought on by life events and/or changes in body chemistry. It can strike anyone, and is curable.

I was first diagnosed with depression 3 years ago, when I started university. I had been feeling down for some time and my mood swings were getting uncontrollable. My relationship with my boyfriend was getting worse because I was so paranoid and my anger towards him grew so much, we questioned why we were together.

I decided to go to the doctors because I decided I couldn't live like that anymore and he suggested depression as a likely cause. He referred me to the Peter Hodgkinson centre in Lincoln, a NHS service aimed at helping patients with mental health problems.  I have now been a patient at this centre for 2 and  a half years and I go for check ups with my assigned consultant every three months for a review of my medication. I have been referred to counsellors previously but due to the fact I was ill for one of my sessions, I got discharged from their services. This has thrown me off and any benefit I got from my short time at counselling has steadily disappeared.

Borderline Personality Disorder is one of the most common personality disorders. People with personality disorders may find it difficult to:

• make or keep close relationships
• get on with people at work
• get on with friends and family
• keep out of trouble
• control your feelings or behaviour
• listen to other people

There are different types of personality disorder and I have been diagnosed with the 'Borderline or emotionally unstable' group. This means that I am impulsive and I find it hard to cope my emotions. I have up and down days, meaning that if I am sad, I am very sad and if I am happy, I am manic and highly excitable. It can also mean that I feel paranoid and have low self esteem and self worth.

The paranoia and low self esteem are the symptoms that affect me most of all. I am paranoid about everything and everyone. I struggle to leave the house some days because I am terrified of how other people will perceive me and I am scared that someone will laugh at me (classic paranoia!). The paranoia also affects my relationship with my boyfriend. I am paranoid about him 24 hours a day, I struggle to control thoughts about him and it results in me getting extremely upset and/or angry. I accuse him of cheating or sneaking around behind my back and I have gone through phases of checking his phone and internet history just to make sure he isn't messing around. My problem has got so bad that I get to the point of wishing him to mess up, just so I am justified in my feelings and I have the right to be mad at him.

My low self esteem has to take some responsibility for this behaviour. I think so negatively of myself and constantly judge myself next to other people. To go out is a struggle, even now. I need the motivation from other people to get me to leave the house. If I had the choice, I would stay in bed all day.

This combined with the depression leads to a very stressful life. Of course I have good days, I can have times when I am so happy and nothing bothers me and this is a release to me. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my head. Other days, I feel swamped, like my head is going to explode. I guess I have to reach a good and healthy balance but I know it will be a struggle. 

Thoughts of suicide and self harm are also a problem. About 2 months ago, I was staying with my parents to give my boyfriend a break. I had only been there on my own a few hours and I started to get a sinking feeling. I felt awful, I was crying non stop and nothing could help. I had a panic attack, I was uncontrollable and I was desperate to be back with my boyfriend. After several hours of crying I found pills in my bag and decided to take the whole packet (10 in all). I knew at the time that this probably wasn't enough to kill me, but I really wanted to hurt myself and this was the only way I knew how. I sat for a while after taking the pills and I felt numb. I didn't care what happened next. Only trouble was, my boyfriend rang me after I had taken them. I told him what had happened and he went mad at me and said he was going to have to tell my parents, who were downstairs when this happened. I hung up and 5 seconds later, my parents phone rang. I knew he was going to tell them, so while my dad was on the phone I ran downstairs and told my mum everything. I will never forget the look on her face. 

My dad eventually rang the hospital and I had a check up. I was told that I wasn't in any danger and that the crisis team was not necessary. This, is something I will never understand. A girl takes a lot of pills, but oh no, not a crisis. She is obviously completely fine.

Eurgh.

I am now on a mood stabilizing medication called Aripiprazole and so far so good. My moods are more steady however I still get extremely paranoid and angry. I know I will probably need a lifetime supply of counselling and medication to 'fix' me, but I hope in the end it will all be worth it. For the sake of my relationship especially.

I want to raise awareness of mental health issues and show people that we are not 'crazy' or 'mad'. I have so many issues, it would take me hours to list them all. I have had traumatic experiences, I have depression in my family and all this learned behaviour has meant I struggle on a daily basis. I would say to anyone struggling with any issues similar to mine, or different, please find help. 

Talk to someone, let them know if you are feeling like shit and need a shoulder to cry on. Be honest and open. This is where I struggle. I hate to admit my faults and up until recently I have viewed my depression as a weakness. I now know that depression and BPD will not define me, yes I have it, but there are far more important personality traits that I want to be known for. 

To those without depression: take the time to ask people if they are ok. I'm sure they will appreciate it :)